November 2011
1 post
“If a chick with knuckle tats gives you a hand-job, you think it’s possible...”
October 2011
1 post
“It’s called a “van” you cock.”
September 2011
4 posts
“You dance with a Hobo, you’re gonna lose.”
“How do you paint out the penis? You do it digitally you dumb motherfucker!”
“Yeah, I fucking called it, “Sears & Roebuck.”
“Hentai? Yeah, it’s always tentacle rape.”
June 2011
3 posts
“Naw, I’m gonna sit this one out, so the rest of you blow jobs can get some...”
“Try a version that doesn’t spray so much macho-glue in my face.”
“I picked a bad day to wear pants.”
April 2011
3 posts
“Today’s the day I deserve a zero effort epic blow job.”
“Never make eye contact while eating a banana.”
“They say you should, “Pay it forward.” In advertising, it’s...”
March 2011
2 posts
“All you need is a boat to be a captain.”
“The penis mightier than the pen is.”
February 2011
1 post
“I think I am going to have to start Tyler Durden-ing these briefs to keep my...”
December 2010
5 posts
“When some clients admire Old Spice it’s like a puritan admiring a great...”
“I’ve seen too many good ideas die this year. Our office is starting to...”
“Working in advertising is like being a fluffer. You put in all this work and...”
“It’s a solid move not giving a fuck.”
“When you’re tired of getting laid, shave your mustache.”
November 2010
3 posts
“Wanna know what the breaking point is? Webcasting a fucking Mexican focus group...”
“Anyone who denies the 80’s is just a fucking dick.”
“You can tell how your neighborhood is doing by the quality of the graffiti.”
October 2010
2 posts
“I’m going to manipulate you, then just do what I want.”
“The shortest distance between point A and Beer is a straight line.”
September 2010
1 post
“I just found my dopplebanger. You know, the metalhead version of me.”
August 2010
5 posts
“I love having after work beers during work.”
“Not being able to fart is like blue balls of the butt.”
“It’s like Whopper Freakout. Minus the whoppers and minus the freakouts.”
“I gauge my work level by the frequency of shits I take at the office.”
“If I had your mustache, I’d have to fight the urge to fuck my own mouth.”
June 2010
2 posts
“This is like jerking-off. Sometimes you do it by yourself and
sometimes you do...”
“I’m speechless, have a boner, am giddy, had an orgasm, found God and...”
May 2010
8 posts
“Sometimes you fuck-up and do something that’s actually good.”
“A cabbie not wearing a seatbelt is like a porn star not wearing a condom.”
“This is going to fall in between Bloodsport and Beer Fest.”
“I was shy talking about shitting myself.”
“Stop being such a fucking pussy and tell your boss he’s an idiot. Someone...”
“Taking a dump while wearing Chuck Taylors is like performing armed robbery with...”
“They promise you tits, then give you feet.”
“The best thing I’ve created all day long was just flushed down a toilet.”
April 2010
16 posts
“I’m looking for beer results. Not beer taste.”
“…yeah, I’ve spit on my own dick before.”
“If you’re going to have the aduacity to blow another dude on the Internet,...”
“Ugh. I have to go to another birthday party. I’m tired of people being...”
“Accelerating in a Bugatti must feel like being fucked in the face and ass at the...”
“We unfucked them, so they can only fuck themselves.”
“…like that time I was roofied by a fat goth chick.”
“I was put in charge of putting together a party that doesn’t suck dick.”
“I think you need to have sex with men to wear that.”